dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
