On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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