Tell her she can't have a vagina
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
