So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
