wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
