they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
she told me i tasted like america
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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