apparently the secret to your success is patron
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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