The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
