yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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