we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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