god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
