The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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