No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
