oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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