I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Someone shattered a urinal.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
