the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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