one two three fourrrrnication!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I believe in your delicious
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
