Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
