So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This gyro tastes like lonliness
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
