...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
