We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
