Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
