I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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