How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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