i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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