Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
