so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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