I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
