ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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