I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she told me i tasted like america
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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