Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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