two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
