Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
