Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
