It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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