I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
