he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
