Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
