Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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