ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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