Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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