If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
