Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
should my penis look like a turkey
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
