So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
