So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You are the jesus of drinking
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
