I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
