My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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