haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
