you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
