All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
