she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
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