Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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