Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
